The Results are in...

3 months ago I left my job partly because of the effect the unnecessary stress was having on my health. Of course at that point it was nothing but a correlation and I could never be to sure that's what it was but during the last month of work my health was at very dangerous levels. I began to have symptoms of kidney failure, the beginnings of pancreatis, I was at high risk of having either a stroke or heart attack. I was a total mess.This afternoon I have hit a major milestone...I am finally at a point where my health has greatly improved. There is no doubt in my mind that the organization I worked for who emphasis building a strong community and stands on the pillars of spirit, mind, and body was killing me.

When looking at my diabetic panel I have gone from a 10.3 last June to an 8.2, Now I need to get under 6 but I am heading in the right direction. My cholesterol has gone from 558 to normal at 110. Alarmingly my Triglycerides where at 7640 in June (yes it is in the thousands, can you say stroke) my new results have me at 253. Still high but a dramatic improvement. My HDL (the good cholesterol) still is low at 27, but I am not that far away from the 40 mark. My Microalbumin still remains high but was nearly cut in half from 583 to 255. My creatinine levels level are right on track indicating that my kidney function only slightly has been reduced and is now holding steady.

I still have a long road to controlling my diabetes but I have regained some of the feeling in my hands and feet that was disappearing due to the neuropathy. The pain that comes from the neuropathy,is also totally gone I no longer get easily dehydrated and I have gained some energy. It could have simply been that I now have time to focus on my health and medications but I know it was the unnecessary stress that I was under. I hope that soon I will be able to get away from the twice a day insulin syringes and half a dozen pills.

I think back to my decision to leave and I am comforted by the fact that my health is improving and I have spent some very valuable time with my daughter. Often I wondered if it was just me, but when I talk to those whom are still there they share with me the same frustrations I had when I was there. I carry with me some guilt for leaving some people behind in that situation and I amazed that the powers that be don't do something to improve working conditions in an already chaotic and stressful environment. I have come to realize the only way that anything will ever change is if the consequences of their negligence out ways the the current revenue by maintaining the status-quot. I have struggled with idea of filing an official complaint and bringing forth a real suit...but I don't think I am angry enough.

I guess that anger will come when I can no longer afford my rent, or when I have to choose between food or diapers. I sure hope I get a job soon, I really would like just to move on, and continue hoping the tipping point comes soon for those I left behind. In the meantime I will continue to celebrate my improving health and I can't wait until morning to spend Christmas eve with my daughter!

100 Things About Me

I stole this from another fiends blog and adapted it for me....
1.I come from a small family.
2. I have a younger brother by 8 years and a younger sister by 8.
3. My father had a kidney transplant and is a walking medical miracle .
4. My mother stayed up every night sewing to make money to help support us. The hum of the sewing machines would put me to sleep.
5. Now I stay up every night working.
6. My Father started as a dishwasher 30 years ago and today he supervises 3 different departments.
7. I was a premie at 7 months.
8. My Grandma taught I was born at 5 months, eventually they told her the truth, I kind of spoiled the surprise
9. My parents were undocumented at the time but payed every dime of the hospital bill for a premie and Cesarean birth.
10. I entered SDSU as a Psychology Major and got my B.S. as planned
11. I also received a B.A. in Chican@ studies by accident
12. I never taught I would graduate from High School but got a masters from USD
13. It was a degree in non Profit Management & Leadership Studies
14. I made it through my masters program without purchasing a single text book (borrowed and used the Internet)because I was short on cash.
15. I owe far to much money for my undergrad work
16. I owe nothing for my Masters thanks to the Reebok Human Rights Award I received in 2003
17. I miss working with young people on Diversity issues (Camp Anytown. Minitown, YTOWN)
18. I have alwasy lived in San Diego County
19. "Knowing Pedro is Knowing Work"
20. I chaired the San Diego Cesar E. Chavez Events for too long
21. I learned so much about leadership but took too many unnecessary hits
22. I am a danzante for a traditional Aztec Dance group fore over 10 years
23. I have an enormous belief in the Virgen De Guadalupe
25. I believe my Grandma (Mom' side) is my guardian angel...she passed less than a month after I was born while preparing to come meet me. All she ever saw was a picture.
26. I have only traveled out of the country to Mexico City (Of course Mexicali, and Tijuana but that is just an extension of San Diego)
27. I have traveled out of state to Arizona, Seattle, Orlando, Pittsburgh, New York, Boston, DC, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Chicago
28. When we traveled to Seattle we caught a baseball game in every major stadium including Dodger Stadium; Petco, Angels Stadium, At&T Stadium, SafeCo Field
29. I played Shortstop for many years but my natural position was second base (Yea! Roberto Alomar.
30. My knee was scoped in High School and my knee or weight was never the same
31. I am a diabetic who struggles to stay healthy
32. I need to drop about 50 pounds to be where I consider to be healthy
33. I weigh approximately 100 pounds more than I weighed in High School
34. I was voted most changed since High School at my 10 year reunion
35. In Junior High Rhonda Singers and I were voted class clowns
36. I am proud of my being an Alumni of Chula Vista high...in 2004 I was inducted into the districts hall of fame for my community work
37. I drive a Scion XB but miss my Chevy S-10
38. I much rather have a 1953 Chevy Truck
39. I had 3 eye surgeries as a baby
40. I wear glasses because I fear contacts touching my eyes. I am traumatized from so many visits tot he optometrist that I even hate eye drops.
41. I love to cook, and the kitchen in our house is mine
42. I am the ultimate Sam the Cooking Guy Fan
43. My Favorite food is ...well food in general
44. I still collect baseball cards and memorabilia
45. I also have a an original Voltron
46. I met my wife in 1998 and didn't remember her
47. In 1999 she reintroduce herself and we did not get along
48. In 2000 we ran into each other at SDSU and eventually went out on a date
49. She kissed me first (yet she blames me)
50. She moved in in 2001
51. We officially married in 2007
52. I /m 5'6"
53. Stitch is my favorite Disney Character
54. I’m right handed.
55. My Favorite TV show is House. I secretly strive to be like him.
56. I also occasionally watch novelas ( Currently hooked on reruns of "Dame Chocolate"
57. I’m very competitive.
58. I have never had a cavity
59. I did break one of my front teeth in a fight in Junior High
60. My hairline is receding.
61. I would like to run for political office someday.
62. "VOTE FOR PEDRO" Will be my slogan with guest appearances from Napoleon Dynamite
63. I was treasure of my elementary school in 5th grade and in college I was elected to the student council 3 times.
64. I am a neat freak , my wife is the opposite
65. I tend to think of many things at once. The problem is that because of this, I sometimes don’t finish what I’m doing before I’m on to the next thing in my head.
66.
67. Oops I missed 66 because I was thinking of other stuff
68. My Birthday either falls on or near Thanksgiving every year. This sucks because my birthday meals always included leftovers or Turkey. Also no one is ever around to celebrate.
69. I am a Sagittarius but right on the cuff of Scorpio
70. I love wearing suits, and guyaberas
71. I have a grill in the backyard I named Lucille
72. I once dance with Lucy Lu of Charlies Angels Fame
73. My favorite type of wine is a a Rose or Blush ( I know girly)
74. My favorite alcoholic drink is a purple haze ( I kind of remember them, a little hazy)
75. I don't like the taste of beer
76. But I love Cheese..."Cheddar makes it Better"
77. 13 is my lucky number
78. I love video games
79. I use to walk and talk in my sleep
80. I ran over a CHP officer after falling asleep at the wheel (She was OK, but I rubbed her the wrong way)
81. I am a sucker for love songs
82. My favorite artist include Boys II Men, KC & Jojo, and the Temptations
83. My Favorite movies include Click, Mi Familia, and Transformers
84. My Favorite Stores are IKEA and Target
85. I clip coupons
86. I always feel guilty when I spend money on something that is solely for me.
87. My last major purchase was a new computer (that was purchased with a grant I received)
88. I would go nuts without the internet, e-mail, and outlook
89. I have a my space, blogger, and linked account
90. I enjoy manicures and pedicures
91. I have a tattoo: A UFW eagle surrounded by an Aztec Sun
92. I have a dog named Mixtli (Cloud in Nahuatl)... She is a Bichon Freeze
93. I also have share custody of a turtle named Turtlelina
94. I prefer cold weather
95. I am in love with Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra
96. If you ask me for help, I cant say No
97. I consider myself to be a hard worker who is dedicated and passionate to my community
98. I am my own biggest critic and sometimes over analyze my actions and behavior
99. The two things I want on my tombstone (actually want to be cremated): Loved his Family, Loved His Community
100. I love every second of being a father.

Tonantzin-Dia de La Virgen Morena

Today we honor the patron saint of Mexico, La Virgen de Guadalupe. In fact as I sit here it is after a night where millions of people have visited her church in Mexico city completing their mandas, I can't help to reminisce when I visited her. The stream continues today and hundreds of indigenous dance circles all dance in her honor outside her church.



On December 12 2001 I was honored to participate in the traditional Azteca dance ceremonies of Our Lady of Guadalupe-Tonantzin, and see the other Native American Dance traditions being offered at Tepeyac Mountain in Mexico city. On the morning of the 12th, while we waited for Capitana Rosita Amaya to arrive, we danced by ourselves as a group in front of the actual image of the Virgen de Guadalupe. We did not have a drum, so we danced to the sounds of a single mandolin and our sonajas (rattles). Then we danced with circle comprised of several danzas that included Danza Xinachtli, the dance group formed by Capitán Andres Segura Granados.


I have to say it was an experience filled with so much emotion. I had never witnesed so many people so devoted to a single faith. I will never forget turning as we danced and seeing the image of our virgen inside the church. I saw her and my eyes filled with tears. I looked at one of of our senior dancers and her eyes where filled with tears and quickly I can remember how grateful she was that she got to see her. My grandmother would have been so proud of me to know that I was there. I dance under the palabra of our group but I also danced hard for my grandmother who I knew was there with us guiding my steps and protecting us.

I have to admit that religion is a tough thing for me to talk about. I have issues with the church itself but I have this faith in la virgen that I can't even explain. I don't have many religious images in my home but she hangs prominently where I can see her every night and she can see us. I often argued that in our cultura faith and culture are so intertwined (similar to that of the Jewish community) that it is hard to ever separate. Case in point the revolution in Mexico was announced by a priest.

Que Viva La Virgen De Guadalupe!!!

Prop 8 The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

This is a hilarious...a true sign of the times.

The results of our current recesion

http://s358.photobucket.com/albums/oo21/ClayEnterprise/?action=view&current=LA_RECESION_EN_USA.flv

A diffrent Way to Celebrate My Birthday!

So after much thought and many suggestions as what to do today to celebrate I have decided that I much rather give a gift than receive a gift! By that I mean I would rather save the money we would have spent on drinks, food, and cover and instead make a donation to one of my favorite local organizations.

Please join me in supporting the work of the Parent Institute for Quality Education (PIQE) by making a gift in any amount today. I am not kidding any amount…. $1, $5, $10, $20 or more! This is tax deductible donation that will support the groundbreaking work that the Parent Institute is doing. You can make a donation by clicking on the link below. For tracking purposes please place my initials, “PCA” on the second Billing Address Line.

Nothing would make me happier on my birthday to know that we positively affected the lives of hundreds of families. If you like to join me in making a secure online gift to the Parent Institute for Quality Education please click the following link. DONATE TO PIQE!

For more information on the Parent Institute please visit their website at http://www.piqe.org/

Help Me Celebrate My Birthday!

For the last couple of years on my birthday I have been able to get together with good friends to celebrate!!! Who could ever forget Venus Molina’s famous menu reading at Dave & Busters or the giant bull at the Cantina de Los Remedios in Tijuana?

My 31st birthday is less than 24 hours away and I am stumped…but I am not going to pass up my babysitter I need your help to both celebrate tomorrow and to find somewhere to do so….

Here is my ideal place to celebrate- PLEASE E-Mail Me Your Suggestions!
• Somewhere we can be at from 7:30pm until about midnight.
• A place where a reservation is not required but we will not be stuck standing all night.
• A place that serves appetizers and food, but does not require an order for us to be there.
• A place that is not a killer on the wallet both for food, drinks, and definitely no cover.
• A good bar…this is the one time a year that I actually do drink so I would like OPTIONS!
• Music but it can’t be so loud we can’t have a conversation.
• I am looking for a chill environment to hang out with friends, have good conversation, and that we can just relax.

So once I settle on a place I will e-mail all of you (no later than noon tomorrow). If you will not have access to your e-mail let me know and I can give you a call to update you. CURRENT SUGGESTIONS INCLUDE (Night at the Movies, El Toritos Mission Valley, & Casa Guadalajara in Old Town, Laser Tag)

Please make plans to join me wherever we end up. What I know for sure is it will be tomorrow (WEDNESDAY November 26, 2008). Plan to be there (wherever there may be) starting at 7:30pm.

I look forward to once again celebrating my birthday with all of you… Please click on a link below so I can make sure I send information out to everyone….

CLICK HERE IF YOU PLAN TO JOIN ME WHEREVER WE END UP

If I talked of my distress....

I had the opportunity to visit Golden Hall, A.K.A Election central, on election night. For years I have always tried to make it down but for one reason or another I would always get stuck watching on TV. This year I told myself I wanted to be part of history and let nothing stop me. It was cool running into friends, celebrating the huge OBAMA win, and watching the entire logistical set-up...but what left the biggest impression on me was the hate and anger I saw.

Its no secret that I opposed proposition 8. I be live a marriage ban creates a separate but equal system that I can not support. I am privileged that I can marry the person I love and no one will challenge and question it. I believe no one has the right to hurt anyone by denying them this basic right. But what I saw that night brought me back to the years of running camp anytown and camp minitown. I saw the "separation exercise" in real life. On one side of the room people yelled, YES ON 8" on the other side they yelled, "NO ON 8." In diff rent parts of the room stubborn people would be engaged in passionate but stubborn arguments about the bible, god, and sin. I was just waiting for things to escalate to violence....

As I stood on the "balcony" and observed all I could see was hate and ignorance. But what hurt the most was the following exchange...Someone in the crowd yelled out "God Loves all People!" Then someone responded with "Yes he does but he does love people, not things, Gay is a thing." How much more dehumanizing can you get...our society makes me so sad and to think that someday I could potentially have to tell my daughter that my generation was the one that kept her from marrying the person she loves. I can't help to wonder how those individuals yelling "YES ON 8" are going to feel when they potentially may be in similar shoes...

That whole experience reminded me of an excercise we did at camp that included a powerful, but anonymous poem,

IF I TOLD YOU

If I told you I was gay,
Would you turn and walk away
And scorn me ‘cuz I wasn’t like you
Or would you stay with me
Maybe spend the day with me
And tell me being different’s okay, too.

If I shocked you with this news
Would it give you the blues
And bring your disappointment out in me
Or would it open your eyes
Making you realize
That my happiness is all you wish for me.

If I revealed to you my soul
Would you think of me as whole
Or only half a man or women who is strange
Would you turn away and ban me
Or try to understand me And
accept my friendship even with this change.

If I talked of my distress
Would you think me any less
Or could you try to see my point of view
Maybe I don’t “belong”
But I’ve felt it for so long
I am this way and I can’t change for you.

If I showed you my interior
Would you think you were superior
And look on me like a king looks on his peasants
Or like the god above me
Could you find that you still love me And
not feel threatened by my very presence.

If I asked you not to toy with me
Your rejection would destroy me
And make me feel I couldn’t be open again.
Realize that I love you
I chose to share myself with you
Just stay with me as always as my friend

My Campaign Endorsements

Dahlia & Me at her Fisrt Political Event

"VIVA OBAMA PRESS CONFERENCE"

The Candidates
President/Vice PresidentBarack Obama / Joe Biden
US Representative - 49th District Robert Hamilton
US Representative - 50th District Nick Leibham
US Representative - 51st District Bob Filner
US Representative - 53rd District Susan Davis
CA State Senate - 39th District Christine Kehoe
CA State Assembly - 76th District Lori Saldana
CA State Assembly - 78th District Marty Block
CA State Assembly - 79th District Mary Salas
San Diego Community College - District D Dwayne Crenshaw
Southwestern Community College - Seat No. 1 Mitch Thompson
Southwestern Community College - Seat No. 3 Nick Aguilar
San Diego Unified School - District D Richard Barrera
Sweetwater High School District - Seat No. 2 Pearl Quinones
Chula Vista Elementary School - Seat No. 2 David Bejarano
City of Chula Vista City Council Seat No. 4 Steve Castaneda
City of San Diego -City Attorney Michael Aguirre
City of San Diego City Council -District No 3 Todd Gloria

The Propositions
Proposition 2-YES
Standard for Confining Farm Animals

Proposition 3 - YES
Children's Hospital Bond Act

Proposition 4 - NO
Waiting Period & Parental Notification before terminating Pregnancy Amendment

Proposition 6 - NO
The Safe Neighborhoods Act

Proposition 7 - NO
Renewable Energy Initiative

Proposition 8 - NO
Eliminate Rights of Same -Sex Couples to Marry

Propostion 9 - NO
Criminal Justice System Victims Rights, Parole Initiative

Proposition 10 - NO
Alternative Fuel Vehicles & Renewable Energy

Propostion 11 - NO
Redistricting Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Proposition 12 - YES
Veterans Bond Act

Gracias - Dahlia's 1st Birthday

Friends & Family,

We want to take a minute to thank all those who joined us this past Sunday for Dahlia’s Baptism & Celebration of her 1st year of life. I also want to thank all of those who could not make it but sent their best wishes.

We missed those of you who could not attend and hope to see all of you soon.

Gracias,
Pedro & Rosalina Anaya

Update on the Job Search

It has been a while I have written and since then a few good things have happened. First of all my father finally got out of the hospital, after spending over two weeks at UCSD. They fought of the virus that he initially went in for and while at it he left with a new pacemaker/difibulator, sort of an upgrade to his old pacemaker. He is still a little week but on his way to a full recovery. Since my last update I have had two final interviews with two diffren organizations.

I don’t think my interview with the first organization went really well. To be frank it is not were I would like to end up, but hey it’s a job. I feel I was a little to honest when asked if I could meet their fundraising goals for the year. I noticed that they have projected to triple their goals for this fiscal year in an economy that may not support it. Times are changing and the way fundraising worked just five years ago will not work in the upcoming years as philanthropist tighten their budgets. It will no longer be enough to have a great cause or great program. Board involvement, evaluation, objectives and goals, marketing, and stewardship will need to be part of a combined strategy. Those organizations that do not diversify their funding sources and nurture all those sources will quickly sink. Those organizations with unrealistic goals and no plans are doomed to fail, “when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Don’t get me wrong could I develop that culture, I could but triple their development funds in one year….that’s a pretty tall order; just being realistic considering they have not met their goals over the last three years.

On the other hand the second interview went amazing. I think I made an impression. I did find out that originally they had a candidate pool of 50 qualified candidates, which they narrowed down to eight, and now they are down to three of us. I have heard a rumor that they have contacted some of you as my references, which is a move in the right direction! I think I can make an impact with this organization. Public Health is something I hold dear and of course access to health solutions for all is something I deeply believe in. Too much money is being spent on drugs to treat diabetes, cardiac problems, drug abuse, etc. What we nee to do is provide a prescription for better public health and support programs on the front end. I listened to a doctor speak last night and he made a great point, “a doctors office is not where we should go to get healthy,” We need more parks, supported recreation centers, programs that educate our communities on staying healthy. Our families need safe communities where they don’t feel afraid of spending time with their family’s outdoors. There needs to be healthy food options in the communities where they live. In the case that they do need treatment or support services those need to be there and easy to access regardless of any barriers.

Finally I have to get on my soap box a little bit. Over the last few weeks as I have traversed the world of the unemployed and support systems I have been disappointed by what I have seen. I have seen children turned away from services, rude and inconsiderate staff, and a bureaucracy that should not be. Did you know that in the world of MediCal there is a difference between “eligible” and “qualified,” it all seems so subjective?” I am fortunate I have a voice and when I see an injustice I can defend myself and my family but over the last few weeks I have been saddened by the treatment of members of our community. I keep thinking to myself that it’s hard enough to ask for help, especially when there are language and cultural variables, why do we as a community make it harder for individuals who are already struggling. What has happened to the compassion and respect that all people deserve? Being unemployed has been a great opportunity and reminder as to what our community goes through. I am blessed to have had this experience and makes me thankful for what my family went through when I was baby and for what thousands families go through everyday.

On behalf of me and my family thank you for all your help. Your support has been invaluable for the last two months. My Daughter (picuted to the left) celebrates her first birthday this Saturday and will also be baptized. That milestone has made me reflect on the last year, my family is so blessed to have come in contact with each of you!

The Miracle Know as My Dad

My dad entered the hospital last Sunday morning (Septmebr 28) and has been there ever since. After over a week of treatment, me raising hell with hospital administration, and lots of prayers it seems like he will be coming home soon. For those of you who don’t know my dad is a pretty incredible medical case. He suffers from an illness that is not very well known even by Doctors called Fabrys disease. For those interested you can visit a wikiepedia link on it by clicking here. Fourteen years ago he received a kidney transplant after his kidneys failed due to the decease. More recently his other organs have become affected by the decease leading to heart attacks, strokes, and abdominal issues. Mostly under control thanks to an enzyme replacement therapy he is stable but when he does get ill it is an adventure. Attending UCSD (A teaching hospital) he is visited by every single doctor wishing to learn more. In addition with the decease affecting every major organ every specialist team is involved in his treatment which often time gets cumbersome and confusing as they provide treatment. Long story short he went in for abdominal pain and diarrhea and since being at the hospital he has been treated for heart palpitations, bacteria affecting the colon, intestines and the transplant kidney, dehydration, and pneumonia caused by the doctors over hydrating him. A week later he is finally pain free, re-hydrating, and once again able to breathe without oxygen. After a whole week of not eating he has his appetite back and Doctors have said they have no clue what started it all. Just yeesterday he had 3 full, but light, meals. This morning he went through a cardio stress test as doctors have decided they will use this hospital visit to "install" a defibulator in his heart to deal with the palpitations. I estimate my dad will be out of the hospital by this upcoming weekend after spending nearly two weeks in the hospital.

Obama 08!

Where is Dr. House? Is he Fiction

When your baby is sick and can't tell you what is wrong you feel helpless. Over the past 6 months she has had this real bad cough on and off then she gets real congested. Initially we took her to Kaiser and they diagnosed it as Broncolitis (the baby version of Broncithis). Then a few months later is back, and then a few months after that its back again. In ten months she has gone through this at least 5 times. It starts with a cough, then the mucus and flem, and eventually it makes it difficultfor her to breath. Then we have to use a nebulizer and inhaler, and occasionally prescribed steroids. The doctors have said that because of its recurrences it could be asthma...so I kind of took it as the doctors being right until...

With the lack of health insurance due to my work transition we took the baby to Tijuana to my wife's childhood doctor. Before we finish explaining all the symptoms he begins asking us questions where everything he asked we were like ..yeah, yeah, yeah. He immediately diagnosed her as having baby reflux, which irritates the throat and causes the cough.

What is Reflux?
My child has a chronic cough . . . wheezing . . . recurrent pneumonia . . . My infant cries and cries . . . any one of these symptoms alone may indicate a common condition called Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD).

Most babies "spit up" after they eat, but some babies spit up so much so frequently that they are diagnosed with Gastroesophageal Reflux (GERD). The definition of reflux is splashing or pushing of stomach contents backwards up into the esophagus, and sometimes, out the mouth or nose. All of us have some reflux every day. Most of us aren't aware of it when it happens. One important thing to remember, over 90% of Children who have reflux will outgrow it.

How Do I Know if My Child Has Reflux?

If the baby vomits frequently (more than once or twice daily)

If the baby has recurrent pneumonias

If the baby shows discomfort eating (i.e. refusal to eat, stiffens up, arches back
(opisthotonus), tries to push away from the bottle)

Persistent Hiccups or Persistent Cough

Chronic nasal and/or sinus congestion (from aspiration)

Frequent Choking episodes Child complains of burning pain in the chest area Complains that eating hurts

Chronic reflux can result in Esophagitis. This is caused by erosion to the esophagus from the acid in the vomit. Signs can range from pain during feedings (a baby may seem eager for a bottle, but after a sip suddenly refuse to take any more) to blood in the vomit. If this continues for a long period of time it can cause scarring on the esophagus and rarely, it can lead to Barretts Esophagus or even Cancer. It is important to diagnose reflux early and when necessary treat it medicinally. Reflux may be diagnosed based on the description of the Child's behavior. Often the doctor will order tests to confirm the diagnosis.

Now my question is why did the doctors at Kaiser not even look at this. Why did they not ask the same questions. Kaiser doctors never really even look at her. they took more time looking at their computer screen vs the baby. I am wondering if Doctors like the ones we see on TV that actually troubleshoot and talk to their patients really exist. I guess Dr. House is really more fiction than I tought.

Within three days of going to the doctor her condition has improved...I guess it was a blessing to not have insurance. That's twice that we visit this doctor an he gets it right on the first try. Last issue we had with the baby (A bad diaper rash) took three visits to kaiser with no results. It was not until we went to Tijuana that it went away.

But whats even more amazing is that we been blessed with a happy baby...even though she is uncomfortable she never stops smiling.

Governor Palin you don't have a clue....

"I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," except that you have actual responsibilities."

Vice Presidential candidate, Gov. Palin

Governor Palin you will never understand the true impact and the heavy responsibility that community organizers carry with them. They are the caretakers of countless hopes and dreams for communities across this nation for generations before us, today's generations, and future generations. It is those organizers whose shoulders you stand on that gave you the right to vote, protect the indigenous languages and cultures within your state, and continue to ensure that the dreams and hope of those hard working families and individuals within our country are not forgotten. Your comments not only insulted thousands of selfless individuals but the memories of great organizers like Fred Ross, Dr King, Cesar E. Chavez, and the countless number of union organizers from unions like the one your husband belongs too. Cesar Chavez encapsulates this best when he said, "We are organizers at heart. Most of us in the movement take great pride in being able to put things together." Ms. Palin we take pride in our accomplishments for our community, we take pride in being organizers.

Why I left my job

So after nearly four years in my cuurent positionI have resigned my position. My last day was last Saturday and one week later I still have not found a job. Even though financially things are unstable and everyday their is a new realization in regards to the world of the unemployed I would not have done anything different. In fact most of those who are close to me are glad I made the decision and in fact wonder what took so long. Of course the most popular question is why are you leaving...so let me try to lay this out in a professional manner....

Workload: The position itself is designed to fail. With the level of responsibility and the lack of human resource in my mind there is no human being who could possibly be successful at all of the elements in this position. If you are not schizophrenic before entering the position you will be if you don't leave. I understand multi-tasking and in general this is one of my strenghts but there is a huge difference between multi-tasking and over-tasking. In fact in my time at the Y the position doubled in responsibilities and just before I left I was assigned a few more items..and at no point was I ever asked for my opinion or brought into the decision making process...which leads me to my next point.

No authority: I was never able to established my formal authority within the organization. For those of you who have taken Dr. Monroe's classes at USD you will know exactly what I am talking about in this section. Luckily I was able to establish some informal authority with those I supervised and that helped me survive there. But of course my formal authority, my boss, was really good at assassinating my authority. I can't be sure if he did it intentionally ( I assume there was some hidden issues, per Tavistot Primer I) but I can be sure that he did it often. I can remember about two weeks before quitting running a management meeting in his absence and felt we where getting somewhere to resolve a severe budget crisis. Then he walks in to the meeting and tears apart what we had worked on without taking a minute to hear us out. You could literally see how demoralized and unmotivated everyone became simply by their body language. We went from a meeting with a lot of energy and solutions to a room full of anger and disappointment. Even before I gave notice my boss was making decisions on salary adjustments to staff I supervised without even consulting me. Of course I would have agreed but why would he not talk to me about those things If ultimately I am responsible for my staff and the completion of facility outcomes.

Salary: On the note of salary my close friends know that it has never been about the money for me. Of course now with a family I have to make sure I make enough to support our needs but ultimately it is about loving what I do. Sometimes people don't realize how perceptive I can be and that I can read between the lines. But I have to ask the question why is my former position the lowest paid associate position in the entire association. In fact there are new associates who have less experience, less education, and less time and are already making more than I was. There needs to be some equity amongst the association in the positions they offer. A big slap in the face was when the position was posted at a higher starting rate than what I was making. So obviously it was not budget that kept them from adjusting my pay. In fact before I left three staff had their salaries adjusted. This really told me where I stood and what my perceived value to the organization was...

Support from the corporate level: I still remember the day I decided to leave the organization and I attempted to call our VP of operations to file a complaint and get some guidance. To this day he has not returned my call. I think the corporate office has become negligent in regards to the situation at the YMCA. How many people have to file complaints before real change will occur, where is the real tipping point. The corporate office is more than aware of the conditions that employees face yet do nothing. As I told the YMCA VP of Human Resources, the corporate office has failed this branches employees for too long. Especially when they have proven that it is not safe to ask for help without facing retaliation. It is by no accident that the two senior Latino directors at this YMCA resigned within weeks of each other. Who can live with this stress...what more does the corporate office need to see their is a problem....

Balance: For an organization that preaches balance of spirit, mind, and body they don't support that amongst their employees. The 12-14 hour days, the verbal and mental abuse, the lack of resources combined with poor pay and lack of recognition are not worth it. Especially when you go home and realize that the only time you see your kid is when their sleeping, or that you are behind on your bills, and that your health is suffering. Diabetes is no joke and this job was only making it worse.

Diabetes: It is so sad that I can pinpoint the reason why my diabetes was out of control and link it directly back to the stress of the job. For those who know anything about diabetes stress is one of the major factors affecting blood sugar levels. In fact every time I would finally be getting healthy there was something or someone who would derail it at work. In fact the straw that broke the camels back was when my blood sugar had dropped to dangerous levels (meaning I could pass out and enter a diabetic comma) and I brought food to a staff meeting and was denied the opportunity to eat it even after explaining why I needed to eat . At no point had food ever been denied from these meetings, in fact we had shared food at these meetings on many occasions. Talk about the lack of reasonable accommodations for someone with a disability.

I could no longer let this job continue to kill me...I made the difficult decision of moving on and facing the consequences of not having a job rather than staying there and continue to get sick and not see my daughter as we fell deeper in debt...I had to ask myself a question. After years of working on farm worker and labor rights what would I have done if someone came to me and express a similar situation to me...the anwser was clear and encapsualeted in the following quote...

"What is at stake is human dignity. If a man is not accorded respect he cannot respect himself and if

he does not respect himself, he cannot demand it."

-Cesar E. Chavez

I have a bunch of board members, other employees, friends, asking why I left but ironically my boss never really asked why I was leaving which made two more things clear to me:

1. It confirmed where I stood (as the lack of a call from the VP of operations)

2. That things will never change at this Y.

He did ask If I was sure I wanted to make this decision. I replied, yes that I had been thinking about it for a while. That is what it was left at. No attempt to find a resolution or address any issues. Once again reminding me of my perceived value. My mom always reminded me that no one was indespensible but I know I brought some unique gifts to the Y and it is their loss.

The VP of HR did aske but after we talked it think she realized the latter of the items above (Change is not ocming soon). Or that at least that for me it was too late. In fact I think she realized she had to play it safe with what she said to me because I had the makings of a real complaint to the Equal Employment and Housing Office. I have a lot of respect for her but also know she has a role to play.

So now I am unemployed and looking and once again there is no regrets. In my time at the YMCA I know I had a positive impact on those we served, the staff i worked with, and the culture of the organization. I feel I grew as manager, and employee and as a person. I made some lifelong friends and colleague's and I am proud to have serve the families within our service area.I am looking forward to my next opportunity where i am sure I will be able to have a continued impact.